Sunday, February 7, 2010

Culver City, CA/ Why do most people answer questions in an opposite, hardened way, not wanting to admit their vulnerabilities?

Full Question: Why is it that when you ask a sensible question that people generally feel strongly about, most people will answer in an opposite, hardened way and not want to admit their vulnerabilities? For example, the question, how would you feel if a sibling stole from you?

[Photo will be posted soon.]

Answer: I think people want to believe that their sibling wouldn't steal from them. It's not so much exposing their vulnerabilities. Well, let me ask you--would it be worse if your sibling stole monetary value or if she stole your boyfriend? For women, since they're more emotional, I think that they would say boyfriend. That's kind of sad because if you really think about it, you can get another boyfriend. That's never a reason to break up a friendship. Me? I'd say my money. Now that I'm older and wiser. When I was younger, I'd say my boyfriend.

I think people don't want to be taken advantage of. People see a person with vulnerabilities and they take advantage of that. People don't want to seem weak. Maybe it's not necessarily the weakness, but it is people don't want to be judged for your honesty, how you really feel.

I've raised a 25-year-old son and an 11-year-old daughter and I've always tried to instill in both of them that you always have to be honest, that just because you perceive someone as weaker than you, it is no reason to take advantage of them.

Perfect story...Friday, when I picked up my daughter from school, she seemed kind of sad. A few days ago, she had told me that one of her friends, a little 10-year-old girl told her and some friends that she had tried to commit suicide by taking a butter knife and scraping herself. She was sad because Josh didn't like her anymore. I asked my daughter what she did, if she had told her teacher. She said, 'No, we just told her that it's going to be ok.' I tossed and turned all night and talked to my husband about it and the next morning, I decided to call the principal. He called me later that day to say thank you and he said that he talked to her parents and they had no idea that she was feeling that way. My daughter was upset because people were calling her a snitch. She started crying as she told me the story, saying 'I didn't do anything!' I said, 'Let me tell you something. I tossed and turned all night last night and it was me. I couldn't not saying anything about it so I told your principal.' She said, 'But mom! People are calling me a snitch.' I asked her, 'Do you know what suicide is?' She answered, 'That you hurt yourself?' I said, 'No, it means that you kill yourself and people don't come back from that.' I said, 'When you go to school on Monday, this is what you do. You tell everyone that you did not hurt your friend. You helped her.' She was feeling more confident and she wiped her tears off. 'When I see my friend at school on Monday, I'm going to give her a hug,' she said.

There were 4 other little girls in that conversation and I was the only parent who came forward. I hope the 3 other girls didn't tell their parents. I can't imagine knowing something like that and not doing anything. If something did happen, I would feel awful. It's such a world where you don't get involved anymore, but at the end of the day, death is death for everyone. I say all this because I think people should get more involved.

Question: If you knew tomorrow you would die and come back to this world, what race, nationality, sex and job title would you like to come back as? You can't come back as yourself. You have to come back as someone else. And where would you like to live?

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